Feds Raid Al Franken’s House!

al-frankenreams and a strange smell leaking into the neighbors’ lives. After a short investigation, it was found that the ranch is the vacation home of US Senator Al Franken. The FBI took over and served the home with a wellness check and found what investigators are calling one of the most rancid scenes in recent memory. One so horrifying, the first agents on scene couldn’t help but vomit and the others had to take a moment to pray and weep.

The home was being used as a pagan cult shrine. Even at 2 miles to the nearest neighbor, the screams of the animals being sacrificed there would reach the neighbors because they were performed in a ritual in the back of the property far from view but close enough to hear the horror. LLOD reporter Skip Tetheluda said the scene was like nothing he’d ever witnessed before:

“There were piles of bones. So many from so many different species it would be impossible to figure it all out. They looked like some as small as rabbits or chickens to muck larger bovines like cows and buffalo. It must have been a bloodbath.”

Franken is reportedly in Washington and hasn’t responded to requests for a statement. This is a developing story that will be updated.



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